Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
