Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
