My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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