Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
