He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
