I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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