I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
