Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
