Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
