I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
