Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
