You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
