Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
