I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
