If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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