I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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