bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
