google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
