FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
