.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
