Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
