I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My cat gives me a boner
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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