I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
