I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
