I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
