yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
