She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize