I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
