I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
