I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
