there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
