Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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