Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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