Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't turn off my feet"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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