you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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