ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
