I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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