Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
