I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
