she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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