we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
