I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
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