Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Who died my cat blue again?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
