are you still at the devil's house?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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