You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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