Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I currently don't understand fingers.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
