Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
