I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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