I need help removing her.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
