"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
